And So I Will

Hey y’all, how ya doing this fine night. Me, great. It’s been a wonderful day and a blessed night. Any day that I can wake up take a fresh breathe of air look out my windows and see the wonders of the world. Well, to me that sounds like a great day  it could always be deep, dark, cold and full of Ickes worms and stuff so yes I will settle with I had a great day. So, i hope that you had the same  and, from the last post to this one I hope that you have found a way to let your happiness shine trough your joy and been able to thank God just one more time and stepped out to make good on a day not promised. When I first started this blog, I had no idea what I was doing. I was just going to talk and write, talk and write because that was what I was good at. My way of taking a serious day and making it light hearted as I could… But what I didn’t realize is that I lost sight of what I really needed to do, the things that I needed to accomplish in my life in order to meet my passion and that is helping other people. I mean I feel that I should have complete closure in my life before I can urge others to do the same  so hang on, this is about to be a wild adventure and with God with me and before me, I will be able to accomplish just that  helping others while helping myself .

n

When beginning my journey to get closer with God, I knew it wasn’t going to pretty. I knew I was going to have to face things that I haven’t faced in years. In fact, I was probably could stare dead in the face the monsters that I hadnt looked at in years  but, I never really thought that it was going to be this gosh, darn ugly.  But I guess that is what goal transformation was all about.  I needed more of God. I wanted more of Him. And, I was going to find it!! I needed to clear my head and my heart. I wanted to replace the angry, hateful, sinful Crystall with a more peaceful, joyful, loving one it in order to do that, I had to let it go… up unto this point Let It Go was just this nagging little tune from this great Disney film. Never ever did I think that it would truly relate to life. I mean Disney was always trying to sale these ideas to little girls that related to life but really never seemed to work for us. I mean where did I ever need a Prince Charming, and where would  I ever drive around a pumpkin car. Or tie balloons to my house just to fly it away to some vacant mountain out in the middle of nowhere… Sounds like a promising idea not a practical one. But,  this time I think they might have struck gold.  I needed to really Let it go, I just needed to figure out how. I needed to let go of this pain stop being mad at the person who bullied me in the fifth grade. I just needed to let it go. A clean slate. A new page. A marvelous new makeover. But, I had hoarded all this pain and agony for so long that I did t know where to start. So, I guess that I should start from the beginning. Where you always start and that was with the one person that was always there. The one person who failed me the most because it was that person that knew every strength and weakness I could muster up. And, they knew their way around my every move. The eye of the hurricane. The center of the storm. MYSELF!!!

I had let myself down more times than I could count and hurt myself triple that number. But, I had to realize that this would be the easiest to remember and the hardest to forget thus the most difficult to forgive. For most of the situations ( and I stress not all) and or people that I needed to forgive wouldn’t be necessary had I not let myself down time and time and time and time ( well, I think you get the jist of what I am saying) again. When you receive God as your Christ and Saviour and surrender to him, you have to give up and letting go is a must situation. In submitting to God, I am asking for a full blown complete 180 transformation. I AM A CHILD OF GOD. I AM HIS. I AM FORGIVEN. Therefore, meaning I need to forgive me!! Say I am sorry, and stick a booboo sticker on it and get back on the playground and face the bullies head on. So, here goes….eyes closed…mouth open…breath held in…

CRYSTALL DAWN SHORT BARROWS, I FORGIVE YOU….CRYSTALL DAWN SHORT BARROWS I FORGIVE YOU… CRYSTALL DAWN SHORT BARROWS I FORGIVE YOU… I FORGIVE YOU…I FORGIVE…I FORGIVE…I FORGIVE….

Now, as simple as that seemed it was probally difficult as bungee jumping down booty naked on a plate of broken glass and hot coals. I have wrestled all day should I do this or should I do that  should I post this or should I keep it private. But, the whole purpose of helping people like I said was helping myself and this is me taking the first step in a long line of forgiveness. And,  now that I got the hardest part out of the way, the rest should just fall into place. It is my prayer that when you are wrestling with the big giant in the mirror that you can find the courage to face it head on cause I promise you that problem, that foregiveness is nowhere near as big as the God you serve and it will lead you to a road of enlightenment and joyous love….and to me that seems well worth it  yall be blessed now ya hear….

signing off,

Chryssé D❤️💋

 

 

 


 

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