The UNliving Where I Was


This is an old post that I found the other day going through old journals

So, after work I find myself sitting alone in an empty living room, in which I can probably count the items inside on two hands…..16….. and that’s counting me and the dog!!! 

I look around and all I see is 

And I question WHY! WHY! Why is this place so barren and cold. Lonely and useless. Where I come from the living room is the main attraction (next to the kitchen of course). It is where you set the tone and personality for your home from the floor to the ceiling every wood chip, every tear of fabric tells a story…… it tells of long night talks with your spouse. It totals of the thousand and one footsteps of your children and grandchildren; cats and dogs. Details of Saturday morning cartoons, Sunday football, NASCAR, friends over for dinner to tell you they care, parents for Christmas and neighbors for soup. After all that’s why they call it the living room right??? 

Fuller House
Fuller house

But somehow, I have found myself located in the unliving room. Void of life and vibrancy. This is wrong in all shapes and forms to me and what I believe. However, you say “oh,it is just a living room” NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

It is more than that and if what I listed before wasn’t enough then maybe this is. This is where we begin our self definition. The truth of who and what we are!!!! I can remember without the blink of an eye the bat of a lash what my grandparents living room looked like; what my parents house look like. What they both smell like!!!! 

What would be going on at any point of any moment of any time of the day it was the definition and creation of who and what I am this very day. It has molded and gave me a balance of who I am. Yet here I sit in the UNliving room. A place borrowed not possessed…. and as much as I feel with latching onto the deep spiderweb corner of my mind, the place where loneliness and despair reside, pain and regret, I refuse to allow this to become who I am or who I am it to NO WAY….NO HOW….UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE!!!!! Never will something this Barren and Dull ever become a nation, a location in my story; in my definition of who I proceed to be and I can tell all that from a living room as I sit in the unliving room!!!!


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