Hey guys!! How we doing tonight?? Just wanted to check in on everyone and see how they are enjoying this fine Valentiines early morning. I supposed I should be in bed, but hey who needs a sleep patten. They are over rated. That is me being eve so sarcastic. Lol. I actually just finished touching up on a book I started this week…. Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst and let’s just say it is great. Have any of you guys read it or started it. Rejection is a hard place to live and I in fact have lived there for many years now. When i ran to my cave to hide i ended up dwelling in the cave of rejection. And, trust me it is no fun.
During one of the videos for the OBS, Lysa proposed a challenge in which you spend time with God and ask Him to reveal to you the one lie that has stuck into you and become a liability in your road of being uninvited. And, it was like a ton of bricks fell on me and released all at the same time. God checked me instantly with what I had been holding in this internal box of rejection by a lifetime. I mean there has been a lot. But, one just stuck out to me so definable that I didn’t even realize was still a problem but I guess sometimes things just have to be brought to light. And today I want to talk about that. I will leave the person said it in anonymity because I know who she is ad I would guess tat se know who she is but no need to. blast that. For that is between me, her and God.
I was of young age and had went out to eat with some family and friends; I still remember everything about that day. It was very beautiful spring day after just had open the new co mixed A and W/ Long Johns so it was amazing day or so I thought. Until this day I don’t know what led to the events that would proceed our lunch date but they are something that has stuck with me until today. This person who I loved very much started refusing at me, and like I said I don’t even recall these reasons. But, she began to berate me leaving off with this statement that would forever change me and my trust for people. After what had seemed like hours of telling how miserable of a person I was and wrong I was, she left off with statement: I ne’er want to see you grace the funeral the day that I die. How could you say that to any person, let alone a child. It would forever change how I looked at people like I stayed but especially female variety. But, I am not here for that reason. I am not here to wallow in that bitter moment or self pity. Not at all.
That day gave me a feeling of rejection that I dont think I could ever begin to describe. And, because I didn’t properly deal with it in that moment as i should have it has followed me into my adult life. It has always harbored a place in the back of my brain that said Crystall you are not invited. You are not welcome. Not here, not now, not even in my death. Now, what was i supposed to do with that. I know that this will be a long road to recovery now that I’ve discovered the lie for what it truly is.
Have I been able to forgive this person for this rejection, no not yet. Will I ever be able to? Yes!! Why, because that is what Jesus did for me. I found freedom in His name and forgiveness in His love. And, who am I to withhold that from someone else.
And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. Mark 11:25
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31,32
So, it is a given that I will definatley forgive this person. I will do it for her, ad I will do it for me. I cannot continue to let this hold a place over my life that, unknowingly, it already had. That is not a healthy place to reside for either of us. She may not remember, being that I just really thought about it today almost 15 years later.However, I now that somewhere it is still there. And, I pray that she can forgive me for whatever made her say that statement that day and I pray that she can forgive herself for all the bitterness she holds.
I am looking forward to reading on in this book and finding how to untangle this rejection that has been left in my life. I am looking forward to meeting back here with you and hopefully sharing thoughts and ideas with you. And, if you havent picked up this book, I recommend (just based on first three chapters) that you give it a shot. Until next, always take life with a good ole glass of sweet tea and a slice of faith. BE BLESESED LESS STRESSED