something had to break inside for even the thought she could be repaired. something, anything had to die for her to yet again find life. as i sit here, i want to take in these last few days, i wanted to be amazed at just what He has walked me through…and sadly where i had to get in order to be this broken. a surrender of brokenness. i now see that i can’t do this myself. i have been holding on way too much. i want to feel alive again. i want to breath again. so lightweight, so free, so carefree. now that I am getting through the initial is this really happening. is my life really falling this apart. in this drastic of a fashion. could this be real. or is this imagery at the worst.
the enemy has come to kill, steal and destroy. he isn’t playing any games. not with me. not with J. not with our family. heck not even with our enemy. if he can’t utilize it to his fashion, then he will destroy it too. i really don’t know what his problem is. he is discontent, violent and unsatisfied and wants each of us like that as well. he knows that he is living on a short leash and a very short time capsule. and he wants to do what he can, while he can. he knows that he can’t spend eternity with our Jesus, so he will make sure with everything in him that we won’t either. now that is a broken soul.
he is gunning for our successes because of his failures. he is trying to come for our families. he doesn’t care if it is adultery. he doesn’t care if it is addiction. suicidal tendencies, death. what have you. he will push and push, then he will push some more; but we have to stand vigilantly, guarding them. not stopping the fight for the ones that we love. we have to keep going on. there is going to be days that we feel as if we are beyond repair. that we just can’t do it no more. but we have to be strong. we have to be courageous.
until next time yall have a sweet tea with a slice of faith.